


Tumblr Requests

by vestam



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-03-08 22:31:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3225884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vestam/pseuds/vestam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A place for my tumblr requests. Usually short and sweet. Various pairings. Any major warnings will be listed at the top.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A_Lucy_Goose requested some Sniper/Pyro!

When Sniper suggested a camping trip, Pyro had been enthusiastic. After his five a.m. wake up call, she was starting to feel some regret. He insisted it was necessary to get an early start if they wanted to catch anything, but she suspected the fish weren't going anywhere. However, any attempts to drag him back onto the bed roll were met with firm resistance. Plus, she had to admit the vest he wore with all its little pockets was a bit of a mood killer.

"Normally," Sniper said as he set down the bucket of bait and the poles on a worn wooden bench, "I'd take a little dinghy out to the middle of the lake, try and stir up the great big fat ones, yeah. But that's not what we're here for."

"Oh?" Pyro yawned loudly, surveying the rickety pier he'd led her to. "Then why are we here?"

"We're here for the tasty little bastards who like to feed right under here. Locals call 'em crappie."

"Doesn't that sound tasty."

"Just you wait," Sniper said with snort. He pulled out a minnow from the bait bucket, watching it wriggle between his thumb and index finger before yanking a hook through. He cast the hook just below the pier before doing the same with the second rod. Pyro looked on from a bench opposite of him, eyelids drooping as she leaned against the pier's railing. Her eyes shut a moment later and didn't open again until the sun was up.

"Oh. You're awake. Good. Your snoring was scaring all the fish away."

Pyro shot him a glare and stretched before walking over. She looked at the fishing line trailing down into the water and then back to the nearly empty bucket of bait beside them. "So where are all the tasty little bastards?"

"Caught a few earlier, but they were too small for eating so I threw 'em back. I'm not giving up just yet though."

Pyro stood beside him, pressing a kiss against his shoulder. She reached down with one hand, groping at the front of his jeans. "I did bring a jar of peanut butter."

"You know, peanut butter doesn't sound so bad."

Pyro grabbed him by the vest and pulled him down into kiss as he wrapped his arms around her. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the line of one rod forward. She almost said something, but then Sniper was dragging her towards the bench. She didn't break the kiss until line went still. By then, the last thing on either of their minds was fish.


	2. Outta Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon requested fem!pyro/fem!demo. :3

Pyro hopped up into the back of Engie’s truck. Demo was already sprawled out near the cab, scrumpy bottle in hand. She sat up at the dip of the truck bed and grinned.

“Was wonderin’ when you’d show up. How was the show?”

Pyro slid back beside her inebriated teammate, pulling off her mask with a sigh. It wasn’t often she took it off, not around her teammates at least. However, Demo didn’t stare or comment, she merely passed her the bottle. Pyro took a couple of grateful gulps, enjoying the pleasant burn of the alcohol down her throat. She wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand before passing the bottle back.

“Tonight’s episode was outta sight. All about this alien creature, called a horta. Ugliest thing, but I really liked it. Scout made all sorts of faces about it. She -” Pyro paused, noticing the way Demo was looking at her. “What?”

“You. You’re jus’ so adorable when you go on like that.”

Pyro blushed and looked away. “I like it is all.”

“And why’s that?”

“Well, it’s different. Traveling in space. Fighting aliens. And…”

“And?”

“There’s a character I like on it. She’s strong and independent and beautiful.”

“Sounds like someone I know.” Demo chuckled, leaning in close enough that Pyro could smell the alcohol on her breath. She rested her head against Pyro’s chest, yawning. “You’d make a great addition to that crew of theirs.”

“I was thinking of you, actually.”

Pyro wasn’t sure if what she heard was a snore or a snort. She looked down to see Demo’s face relaxed, eye shut. She smiled and kissed the top of her head.

“You’re much prettier, though.”


	3. Fem!Spy/Fem!Sniper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sinuswave requested fem!spy/fem!sniper with femspy taking care of femsnipers hair.

“Your hair looks awful, ma chérie.”

Sniper jumped at Spy’s sudden appearance behind her in the mirror. She’d been certain she was alone when she entered the bathroom, but nothing was ever certain with the spook always lurking about.

“Spent most of the day in a tree,” she said with a shrug.

“A strategic position, mais oui.”

“Nah.” She sighed, ignoring the shit eating grin Spy was giving her. “Scurried up one and was trapped like a cat with RED’s pyro sniffing around the trunk. That dog was on my trail all day.”

“More like hellhound.” Spy hovered behind her, reaching forward to pick a twig out from behind her ear. “Perhaps if I look hard enough, I will find the bird who built this nest.”

Sniper waved her off. “Reckon I’ll just chop it all off.”

“NON!”

A moment of silence passed between them before Spy coughed politely, clearing her throat. “I mean, I do not think that is a good idea.”

“Oh?”

“Your hair is nice. It would be much nicer if you only took care of it.” Spy reached up. “May I?”

Sniper nodded. Spy pulled loose the knotted yarn tie, running her fingers through Sniper’s hair. It was oddly soothing and Spy was careful not to tug. She gently worked through the tangles and parted the hair into sections. Sniper couldn’t follow the rest as Spy weaved the sections in and out, but the end result was a neat braid which Spy finished off with the yarn tie.

Sniper inspected herself in the mirror. “Not bad.”

“Much better,” Spy said, resting her head on Sniper’s shoulder. “You won’t cut it?”

“Nah. Don’t think I’d look as good as you with short hair. I’d probably be mistaken for a bloke.”

“Chérie, ne dis pas de bêtises. Tu es belle.”

Sniper gave her a look. “You know I can’t understand a word of that.”

Spy smiled. “I know.”


	4. Fem!Spy/Fem!Sniper cont.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t contain the cuteness of fem!spy/fem!sniper. This is a continuation of the previous request.

“Tu es belle,” Sniper mumbled to herself. She stared intently at the ground between her feet, idly rolling a bullet between her fingers. She’d never been good with other languages, unless you counted a bit of bush talk and that was only a few words here and there. Something about those words had stuck with her.

“Yo, Snipes!” Sniper heard the crunch of gravel as Scout jogged up to her. “Engie said she felt like doing another cookout tomorrow. Thought maybe you could go hunting again. I mean, who knew Bambi made good barbecue?”

“Hm?” Sniper looked up. “Oh, yeah. Sure.”

Scout tilted her head. “You okay?”

“Do you know any French?”

“Uhh… That’s a funny question, ain’t it. Why not ask Spy?”

Sniper shrugged. “Just wonderin’, mate. It’s all right if you don’t.”

“Well, as it happens, I do know some of that namby pamby jib jab. Last time I went home, my pa was crazy about it. Takin’ lessons from some broad. He’s real worldly, you know - wine, smelly cheeses, the whole nine yards!” Scout flopped down beside her, fiddling with her cap. “So, whad’ya want to know?”

“Tu - es - belle,” Sniper said slowly enunciating each word. “Must have heard it in a song, but I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since. You know what it means?”

“Belle? Think that means pretty. Dunno about the two-eh business. Maybe Spy can help you with the rest.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Sniper stood up, grabbing her hat and rifle. “You’ve been a big help. Thanks.”

“Anytime, pal. Don’t forget about the barbecue!”

 

* * *

 

 

Sniper found Spy in her room, door open and inviting. She was settled in an armchair, reading a book with a glass of wine set beside her. Sniper closed the door behind her.

“Good evening.” Spy shifted in her chair, closing her book and placing it aside. “I did not expect to see you inside with weather as nice as this. Would you like a glass of wine?”

“You think I’m pretty.”

Spy stared at her in confusion before bursting into laughter. “Perhaps it would be rude to say otherwise, but that is certainly stretching the matter.”

“No.” Sniper took a step forward. “You said it the other day, along with some other stuff I couldn’t understand.”

“I did? Mais non! You must have misheard me.”

“Tu es belle. That’s what you said.”

Spy might have been a good liar, but, right now, she couldn’t even look Sniper in the eye. She stood up and began to pace by her chair.

“Merde,” she muttered to herself before facing Sniper and closing the distance between them in a few steps. She grabbed a hold of Sniper’s vest with both hands before hauling the other woman into a searing kiss. She broke it off a second later, nervously pulling back.

“Well?”

Sniper simply blinked, putting a hand to her lips. She noticed the expectant way Spy was watching and her face softened into a smile. “Well, I… I think you’re pretty too.”

The tension fell away and Spy returned the smiled. “That certainly makes things less awkward.”

Sniper placed a hand on Spy’s shoulder. “You think we could give that another go? You know, now that I’m ready.”

“C’est quand tu veux.”

“You gonna tell me what that means?”

Spy wrapped her arms around Sniper’s waist, leaning in close. “Later.”

“Later’s good.”


	5. Pauling/Scout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Pauling discovers Scout's tiny dick. Size shaming?

“Look at that little thing,” Miss Pauling said as she caught sight of Scout’s cock. It might have been three and a half inches, but even that felt too generous. It was barely peeking out from under the frilly babydoll he wore. She laughed, pulling back the pink lace of the skirt to get a better view.

“I think my clit is bigger.”

She rubbed a finger over its head, waiting to see if it grew any larger. When it didn’t, she met his eyes and smiled a cruel smile. “All that big talk and this is what I get. What a short ride it would have been.”

Scout blushed all the way to the tips of his ears, squirming at her touch. She spread around a bead of precum that had collected at the slit before moving down to run a finger up and down the length of him. After a bit of teasing, she added another finger, stroking it like a pet.

“Little boy and his little cock.”

Scout panted. Finally, she wrapped her whole hand around his member, completely covering it, but made no effort to move. In desperation, he bucked up into her hand, unable to help himself as he attempted to speed things up. She immediately pulled away, delivering a sharp slap against his thigh.

“Naughty boys that try to cum before they’re allowed get punished.”

He whined.

“Besides, we’re not done dressing you. A little cock like that doesn’t deserve to wear briefs. I don’t know why you even bother with them. A pretty pair of panties should do for something that little.”

Miss Pauling held up a silky pink thong for him to see. It obviously matched the babydoll. Without any resistance, she pulled it on, wiggling it up his hips. He lifted up long enough for her to slip it all the way up, the string of the thong snuggling into the crease of his ass. A small dent in the pink fabric of the underwear and a growing wet spot were now the only evidence of his cock at all.

Next, Miss Pauling took two white stockings in hand, pulling at the fabric and stretching it out. Carefully, she worked each stocking open. One at a time, she slid them on until they covered his legs all the way up his thighs.

“Isn’t that better?” She sighed happily, drumming her fingertips lightly on top of his panties.

“Please,” Scout said at last.

Miss Pauling looked up. She relished the wanton expression on Scout’s face, his flushed cheeks and eyes bright with lust. “Please, what?”

Scout bit at his lower lip, working it between his teeth until it swelled. “Please may your tiny dick boy cum.”

She grinned. “I suppose I can grant you that small favor.”


	6. PD_Watergate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a silly thing I wrote explaining the reasoning of the new Invasion map. Soldier had to have been the one to suggest it.

“Does anyone have any ideas? Anything?” Spy asks, standing before his assembled teammates. No one answers.

Spy looks to Engineer, who merely shrugs. Heavy seems more interested in his sandwich than anything Spy has to say. Sniper is stretched out in the corner, probably asleep. Scout is doodling something on a napkin. Demo lets out a loud belch before taking another swig of his Scrumpy. Medic hasn’t been seen by anyone since they first caught sight of the alien invaders, running off and muttering about dissection. Pyro is mysteriously missing.

Spy sighs.“Very well. Soldier?”

Soldier puts down the hand he has so patiently been holding up this entire time. “I know exactly how to stop these aliens.”

“And how is that?”

“Beer.”

“And how,” Spy says, looking physically pained to speak, “will beer take care of our invaders?”

“We will deliver beer to these aliens. They will drink it and they will crash their ship. Like Demo crashed Sniper’s van last week.”

“Ey, tha’ was an accident!”

Spy cradles his head in his hand. “That is preposterous.”

“Now hold on just a god danged minute, Spy,” Engineer says, placing a hand on Soldier’s shoulder. “It’s not necessarily a bad idea and, after all, it is our only idea. Well, unless you got something better.”

Spy groans, retreating to the back of the room. “Fine! Let us all listen to the madman. Merde.”

Engineer gives Soldier a pat on the back. “Go on, Soldier. Tell us more about your idea.”

Soldier beams before stepping up to the front of the room. “All right, listen up, Maggots!”

~

The alien spaceship is flying overhead. Spy steps into the beam it projects across the battlefield, trying to keep hold of the beer bottles he’s collected and master his center of gravity. About half-way up, Soldier comes blasting into the beam, laughing boisterously.

“DRINK UP, YOU FILTHY ALIENS!” Soldier shouts as he and a case of beer bump into Spy.

Spy loses his grip on his own beers and immediately loses his balance as he tries to grab the three he’s dropped. His body flips over and he finds himself upside down.

“We are in the beam,” a monotonous voice drones over the speakers.

Spy glares at Soldier, crossing his arms as they levitate upwards. One of the bottles whacks him in the nose as it is eagerly sucked up into the ship. Spy tries to decide who he hates more, the aliens or Soldier.


End file.
